We never know what is going on in an individual’s work or personal life
As difficult as it may be, our response can be kindness
Not all things that people may say or think are really about you.
If someone is pretty much always negative about what other people do or someone sometimes make personal attacks and let the destructive words flow then – when such things are aimed at you – remember that it isn’t always about you.
Such words or negative habits can be a way for that person to release pent up anger, frustration or jealousy about something in his or her own life.
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. —Winston Churchhill
Angry Hulk (Marvel)
Or a way to reinforce that his or her viewpoint or belief is the right one.
Or he or she may have a habit of getting others involved emotionally – baiting them – to build a negative spiral, an argument or fight to get attention.
It’s about him or her. Not about something you did or want to do.
You may just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. —Don Miguel Ruiz
I have found that it can have a calming effect to remember this. And to remember that the other person is still human and might be having a bad day, month, marriage or job.
Usually, when I am the target of their frustration or anger, I let them vent–and truly listen. Often, that was all they needed. I try to remind kind and diplomatic. But I don’t allow myself to own it. Of course, if it’s abusive or an attack, I will defend myself energetically. The litmus test for me is to quickly discern if they are trying to help me or hurt me.
This doesn’t mean that all criticism you may get is about the other person. Think about what people tell you and ask yourself if there is something in what they say that you can take to heart and perhaps work on. Be sincere.
Just don’t make the mistake of thinking that all criticism or verbal attacks you get is always about you. That will only tear you and your days apart and create misery in your life.
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